


Dawn of Lights

by Niwoomin



Category: BTOB
Genre: Fluff, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, Song Lyrics, please listen to byeol by btob in repeat that's the song and i love it a lot, two idiots that's all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-22 06:02:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19661311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niwoomin/pseuds/Niwoomin
Summary: Hyunsik, however, knew.Minhyuk loves a man.If they covered up the sky with a dark sheet, would they realise they're still as bright as stars, and can see each other?





	Dawn of Lights

_He is already up so high_  
_that I can't reach him_  
_He is shining with_  
_the countless twinkling stars_

Hyunsik did have a lot of respect for his hyungs, as much as he had for his dongsaengs – this one, though, he wouldn't admit in front of them. When he had entered the agency, he found a lot of reassurance and help in his now friends, and he tried to give it back to them. Being a newly formed boy group wasn't always about fun and laughing, although humour was one of his favourite ways to lighten up the mood, more than dancing or singing. Hyunsik considered himself a humble man; even if he loved to brag about how he was a talented singer and that heavens wouldn't have done better in giving him a voice (Eunkwang would usually barge in and make everyone remember about how he could hit the highest notes), but in reality he was more than grateful and thankful to his friends for everything they had done to make him feel like in a real family. Living in a dorm, away from his blood family was a hardship for Hyunsik: he was constantly worried about his parents and how he could help them. He knew that in the end, being a singer and in a popular group would give him the wealth necessary to send to his parents, and only needed a sum of money sufficient for him to live in the dorm. His expenses aside, Hyunsik had other troubles.

For some months, he had been reflecting on everything in his life. At the age of 27, he wasn't old enough to write memoirs, but he had been living experiences and shared many pieces of life with his bandmates, with the group he would never let down until the end, with the group and the ensemble of moments, songs, events, hardships they had shared, with BTOB. Having joined the agency for years, Hyunsik thought he was cherishing these moments with the group as a whole, but something stuck out. Something – that would be more accurately described as 'someone'.

_He is so beautiful_  
_that I can't dare to want him_  
_Like him_  
_Because I love a boy like him_  
_For him_  
_Because I live for him_

Hyunsik wasn't a stranger to love. He had his fair share of lovers in the past, and due to the agency's contract and the amount of events and promotions they had, he simply didn't find the time to look out for love. Even though BTOB sang a lot of love songs, none of the members really had someone by their side for a long amount of time, sure, some dated once or twice, and it wasn't the need to love and be loved that was missing. But Hyunsik soon realised that he didn't lay his gaze on many people. He didn't feel the need to encounter someone else. There was a feeling that had started to grow in him; he knew it, he knew how it appeared, how it sadly disappeared, what he would feel, he knew love.

Yet, this feeling started to change, to spread, to reflect in every part of his body, so what was it really? Hyunsik thought he knew love, though his heart proved him wrong. And it took him less than a second to understand who was the cause of his soul's ordeals, on an ordinary day, when Minhyuk showed up for practice. Minhyuk wasn't wearing anything abnormal, weird, disturbing, or something that would be unlike him – though each member knew they could be surprised by any of themselves anytime –, it was still on a normal day that Hyunsik understood.

It hadn't only been admiration, it hadn't only been support, or words of encouragement like simple friends would exchange.

Hyunsik knew there was more to the hyung that had helped him, that had protected him sometimes, that Minhyuk wasn't just one of his elder bandmates, nor simply a friend.

Minhyuk was the one Hyunsik thought about whenever he was in rough situations, when the toughness of his life became too much; and the one whenever Minhyuk showed restlessness and exhaustion. On these days, Hyunsik usually tried to cheer him up or get to talk with him about whatever problems he had, provided that he could help. And only a few months ago had Hyunsik realised that it wasn't straight out of _compassion_ but rather of _passion_ , that he was truly the one Hyunsik wished to be with, wished to take care of, wished again and again to support, wished without rest.

_Just wait,_  
_I will fly high just like you_  
_Higher than the_  
_countless twinkling stars above you_  
_Just wait,_  
_I will always be by your side_  
_I'll be your star that shines_  
_brighter than anyone else_

Hyunsik thought about confessing, multiple times, but none of them resulted in a positive answer. A man, first of all. Hyunsik did have troubles in his teen years about this, not knowing if it was normal or even accepted, but he had grown to himself accept it without a lot of difficulties. Life was life, he couldn't afford to take care of this matter when he had work to do and when he had to make more efforts for the group, hence the “problem” tossed away like it was nothing.

But he did know the insults. He knew the shame. The pain. The tears. It seemed nothing, now. He had forgotten about it over the years – but with Minhyuk in front of him, he couldn't help but fear what his bandmates would think of it, let alone the fans if they came to learn about it.

Hyunsik did try to flirt. He had always been close to Minhyuk, more than to the rest of the group, and he particularly loved when they were together and could enjoy some time just the two of them. He loved to see Minhyuk's scrunched nose when he laughed, he took good care of squishing his cheeks whenever Minhyuk was acting silly, he tried his best to tell good stories, good jokes, and made sure every evening they'd spend in the dorm together was filled with memories which Hyunsik wished for to be counted as firstfruits of their love story. Sadly, it went as uncomfortable as it could, stress and shame taking over Hyunsik.

He knew their friendship was to be treasured at all costs.

_Baby I'll be your star_  
_All you need to do is shine,_  
_just wait, I'll be there soon_  
_Baby I'll be your star_  
_So I won't lose my courage_  
_Let me see at least your back_

So it was surely the best option for Hyunsik to stay hidden, even if it pained him, even if the beating of his adoring heart was to keep him awake at night, he couldn't bare only looking at Minhyuk as a simple friend would. Hiding all did take him a lot of energy.

Jealousy did come too. No one was aware of Hyunsik's feelings – or at least he hoped so – but if anyone dared to touch a single strand of Minhyuk's hair, he would get furious. Most of the times keeping it to himself (although the temptation to stop Sungjae from fakely scolding Minhyuk was strong enough to make him stand up from the dorm's couch and sit back right after, leaving the two men in confusion), but it did make him explode once or twice. Never stating that the reason was that he wanted to be alone with Minhyuk, that he wanted to admire the sparkles in his eyes, that he wanted to confess right away and kiss him on spot ; he simply had burst into an angry rant, no more, no less, about how much he hated seeing anyone making innuendos near Minhyuk even if they were jokes, about the whole mess he created and how _Minhyuk_ _hyung_ _is certainly feeling uncomfortable right now._ It happened that Hyunsik got caught stressing over this situation so much, because he didn't know what to do, what to say, how to act and think and talk and be whenever Minhyuk was around. He would be lying awake at night and go up to eat whatever snacks he could find in the dorm's fridge, though it being not healthy it did give him time to think, yet, another time, _watch out for_ _hyung_ _'s head when you throw that plushie on me_ , and another time, _Minhyuk hyung, are you sure this comment didn't offend you at all_ , and so on and so on, _hyung, do you want to party with them or stay with me, oh really, then have fun_ , until it clicked.

It only really clicked when one of the members jokingly imitated him and made it look like Hyunsik knew Minhyuk by heart. No. He didn't. He couldn't know all his feelings, nor his current mood, nor if he liked him or not, nor what was happening in his head. And so his jealousy crisis passed, as he realised he could only take care of Minhyuk as a friend – blaming all his emotions on the account of fatigue and promotions as always. Minhyuk was no member's child, nor he belonged to anyone.

Hyunsik, however, knew. He knew Minhyuk loved someone, that was easy to guess, but he hadn't told anyone, and as soon as Hyunsik realised that, he buried the information deep in his mind. Thinking about it would hurt too much, what were the odds for his beloved hyung that he had known for years as his best friend to love him back?

He still thought about confessing. The sooner they would both be over this, the sooner they'd enjoy being friends without any awkwardness and uneasiness around them.

_It might be far away_  
_and take a long time_  
_But I've always only been in my imagination_  
_Now I can't hold it in anymore, star star little star_  
_A star that specially shines brighter_  
_He flies higher without rest_  
_I'll be comfortable the moment I catch you_

Minhyuk had noticed Hyunsik acting weird around him for months. He at first thought it was over after some weeks, but he didn't know how to act around him anymore. Hyunsik had went through what seemed the five stages of not-knowing-how-to-deal-with-his-best-friend-all-of-a-sudden, stages which included: wanting to spend time only the both of them, talking longer but more awkwardly when they shared a room in the dorm, a lot of nervous laughters appearing, a daily dose of glances Minhyuk couldn't explain, and Hyunsik trying to lighten up his mood more than usual. That was until he started looking into the matter more; it happened to each member to be a bit tired for some weeks during promotions or whenever they had events and couldn't maintain the healthiest lifestyle, but after some weeks, it was obvious it was more than being tired or anxious.

But his consideration for this best-friend-problem began to grow, and came to him the most terrifying idea he could ever think of, the idea as what Hyunsik knew. Not only that Hyunsik could be knowing about Minhyuk, but that he was also _disgusted_ with him and that he wanted explanations – hence the long talks which eventually ended up nowhere – or that he was simply judging him from afar. And that thought made Minhyuk more distant.

He liked seeing his dongsaeng run to him and ask him about his day, about what interesting news he had to bring from his solo schedules, but he was often reluctant now and pretended to be ill to get away from situations. Simply, catching a cold in summer didn't help Hyunsik's worries grow about him, either he was lying, either, as Ilhoon had once joked, it was karma.

Yet Minhyuk was restless and felt his heart racing whenever a thread of thoughts brought him to this idea, and tried to hide himself and his secret as well. He knew Hyunsik had something to tell him, but he tried to avoid the moment as much as he could, knowing something wouldn't be the same anymore. He had known Hyunsik for years, yet he somehow felt that whatever talk they would have in a near future would end this dedicated friendship.

Minhyuk, however, didn't know. He didn't know that he was lame whenever it concerned hiding his feelings, as anyone, and mostly a certain Singer Im, could read him like an open sky.

_If I cover up the sky that covers the world_  
_Will that hide the stars?_  
_Will I be able to go back to sleep?_  
_When the dark night brightens,_  
_when I close my opened eyes_  
_You're still far away but_  
_the star inside of me keeps growing_

Minhyuk wasn't a stranger to love; he knew who he loved, he knew who made his heart beat like this, _dun dun, dun dun, this exact person you love is around you, act normal_. Though he didn't want to make anything obvious, he acted normal the second anyone talked to him, and even if it pained Minhyuk to see Hyunsik frowning and hoping for them to talk, he couldn't walk around saying nonsense. Minhyuk loves a man, Minhyuk swings that way, Minhyuk is not afraid to assume it but the everlasting threat that are people still loomed over him, and he hates seeing his best friend putting uneasiness and discomfort between them because of that. One night, as Minhyuk was trying to get some distraction, Hyunsik had called Minhyuk wanting to know if there had been any troubles for him lately, if it was okay if they could meet up someday in the future, someday that would probably never happen as Minhyuk would refuse any date, pretending he was busy. Minhyuk knew it wasn't that simple, but he couldn't help but bring himself to fake, to hide, to lie, to play another role. If only he could explain, tell him, with simple words :

\- Sik, yes, I love you, since years.

_Oh I'll go around someday_  
_when I can be next to you, baby you_  
_During our struggles,_  
_all you need to do is softly kiss me_

What Minhyuk didn't know was that the phone call was still on. Hyunsik had heard him, that simply.

\- Where are you?

\- Outside club Octagon-- but did you hear-- I mean did you hear me?

\- I'm on my way back to the dorm, is there anyone else here?

\- Uh, yes, they're all--

\- Okay then meet me at the dorm, hurry.

And so, the phone call ended. Minhyuk faked being tired because of the heat, and quickly went back to the dorm, as the night's cold made him shiver tinily.

_Just wait, just like you_  
_I will fly high, high_  
_Higher than the countless_  
_twinkling stars above you_  
_Just wait,_  
_I will always be by your side_  
_I'll be your star that_  
_shines brighter than anyone else_

\- I should have told you long ago.

Minhyuk had arrived at the dorm, and had opened the door to the room Hyunsik and him were sharing. Hyunsik was sitting on one of the beds, not looking up from the ground, not even when Minhyuk entered; in fact, Minhyuk had pronounced that sentence without hesitation, without taking time, he had blurted it out as no announcement should be.

\- Stop it, hyung, Hyunsik's voice reflected his tightened throat, shortened of breath. I know you were loving someone else, but the fact that you told _me_ about some other guy, that is just... Look, I'll--

\- Wait, no. No no no, Sik, that was-- that was you!

\- Yeah, right!

Hyunsik had gotten up, gesturing desperately, one of his hand held out to Minhyuk, the other close to himself. After stuttering for a few seconds, he took a deep breath, the type of breath he took before singing on stage, and calmed himself. Silence broke again.

\- I don't think I have much choice now so... I've loved you for years, hyung, I don't know how many. I realised that a few months ago, but around that time I also saw you change, thinking about someone. Of course I was jealous, I tried to make my mind like what you weren't seeing anyone else, but you were, eventually. And you gave him _my_ nickname.

\- Sik... I'm sorry you thought that.

Hyunsik had sat back on the bed, looking defeated, and Minhyuk sat next to him, not looking at him at all, avoiding any eye contact.

\- The fact is... I knew you'd hate me. A man, right, I love a man, but this man, this man is you, Hyunsik. The reason I've been weird lately-- I thought you'd never get over me liking a man or anyone else, that is, I knew it'd put our friendship at harm and it did, Minhyuk sighed. I do love you, I love you a lot more than you thought, not as a friend or a best friend, but as I would love a lover.

\- Then tell me when I wanted to talk and you refused? I love you too, and so--

\- What? You _what_?

\- Wait, what?

\- I love you, right? Sik, who do you love?

\- You-- But I thought-- We-- I mean--

Both were speechless, looking directly at each other now, their mouth slightly open, eyes opened wide, a wave of realisation passing on their faces as their minds finally started functioning again.

Minhyuk exploded with laughter – more nervous than anything, but laughter still, so hard tears appeared at the corner of his eyes. Hyunsik smiled as nervous as his best friend, blood rushing to his cheeks despite himself not being able to move. After Minhyuk calmed down, he spoke in a broken voice:

\- Sorry, that is just... I'll explain myself first, alright? I thought you knew about me being in love with you, and that you were disgusted. With every event we had to attend, I faked being sick or tired to avoid these embarrassing situations we faced.

\- That's... No, no no no, hyung, I thought you were in love with someone but I wanted to confess to get over this. I was jealous and-- and very pathetic about it.

Minhyuk scoffed, trying to contain himself as much as possible. He then carefully put Hyunsik's hand in his, wrapping it with his other one, and softly gazed at his ex-best friend.

\- So... we're two dumbasses in love, right? But how about resting-- and then you'll explain me everything, Sik?

Hyunsik's heart skipped a beat, not fully understanding the situation.

\- Uh... Alright, hyung, I'll go to sleep too then.

Just when he tried to get back up, Minhyuk tightened his grip a little, holding him back.

\- No, the two of us, here. And since we both share the same feelings... How about dropping the honorifics? Let's find some nicknames more... suitable.

Hyunsik did hesitate – but seeing Minhyuk's huge smile made him take his decision faster than ever.

Cuddling, they both fell asleep in an instant.

_Baby I'll be your star_  
_All you need to do is shine,_  
_just wait, I'll be there soon_  
_Baby I'll be your star_  
_so I won't lose my courage_  
_Let me see at least your back_

\- What's that, said a groggy Hyunsik, having almost fallen asleep when a ringtone disrupted his cuddling.

\- Fuck, Minhyuk whispered as he took his phone, twelve missed calls.

\- It's alright, Hyunsik went tenderly, we're okay here, let's stay the both of them. Can we sleep in peace?

\- … Yes, yes. Sorry. Good night, love.

_We're both here now._

**Author's Note:**

> hey there!  
> i wrote that short - maybe too short - OS for a friend, but i thought it'd be a good idea to share it on here. oh well. i hope you enjoyed reading this, i didn't want to make anything too complicated, just two idiots in love <3  
> don't be afraid to comment (i may have missed words or badly conjugated things) and if you have any questions, you can dm me on twitter or ask me questions on curious cat, both are @/niminkim!  
> thank you for reading again!


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